finding a fluid balance

just to share a little bit of what i can verbally articulate from the training i went to last week. i have actually been able to name some of the ways i feel. for so long i pushed and pushed ahead to be successful and make an impact. i gave so much effort and energy out and thought that doing so would really feed me. (and it did in many ways for a while...it has brought me many successes and experiences i am grateful for!) what i really discovered this past week was that i recoup in a place of energetically stepping back. that doesn't mean that i give any less effort to my work and/or home...it just means that i do it from a place of pulling back into myself and allowing what takes place to happen without the added stress that i used to bring to a situation.

in body mind centering work, i resonated with the balance in the blood circulating in the body. we have arterial blood that the heart pumps away from itself. it is full of effort and rhythm. it is dynamic and grounding. on the flip side is venous blood that is pumped from the periphery (arms, legs, head) back to the heart. the quality of the venous blood is wave-like and gentle pulsing. i like to think of the return back to the heart as comfort. this is where i feel i am in so many ways in my life. i am returning back to my heart and myself. through this experiential anatomy perspective, i have been able to see that i have not been finding the balance between coming and going as i thought i had. i feel there are so many ways i can reconnect that have been staring me in the face and, yet, i have been putting so much effort into figuring out what those things are that i haven't seen them at all! does that ever happen to you? do you ever ask yourself "why didn't i recognize that a long time ago?" some of my specific decisions will be written about in due time. i really feel the pull to transition and am excited about the adventure. i feel a strong pull back into myself, back into my home, back into my heart.

ahhhh...2010 feels like a year of settling.